BFF or Friendzone by Ayugbo Blessing

friendzone-girl-frienzoning-a-man

Two days ago I posted an article on BFF or Friendzoned, sharing my opinion on it. I was however contacted by a blog reader who shared his view on the subject matter. Please read and tell us how you feel about it.

If there is a new hobby I am beginning to develop, it will be reading Debs corner. I practically glance through my email to see if there is an update from the blog notifying me of a new article and if there is, I rush down to read. Debs corner makes for a good reading piece because she debs writes very cool article worthy of being read. I have read virtually all of the articles on the blog till today… But today, i am choosing to be more than just a reader, I will be writing a reply article to her last where she said it is very well possible for opposite sex to be BFFs to which I totally disagree.. I will say it is totally IMPOSSIBLE for a guy another girl to be BFFs and here is why.

The first reason is human nature. What do I mean by these? Human nature is so designed in a way that a guy and a girl get attracted to each other after getting so close to each other and at this point a lot must have happened between them.. At this point, let’s analyse what it will take to be BFFs.

To be Best Friends Forever, you have to dedicate a measure of your time, resources and energy to the other person. This might range from emotional support to physical to any other form of support that can be rendered. They both must have to see, talk, share feelings and ideas, get so comfortable with each other, they also open up a lot of secrets all in the name of being friends and all of these tend to build trust and confidence. Trust me, these are the same requirements for being lovers. So why won’t dating crop up?? Tell me.

A shoulder to lean on is a heart to fall in love with: I am choosing to phrase it that way. When we are around somebody who cares and loves us even as friends and is always there when we are down, we are always at ease and relaxed and then we start seeing this opposite sex in a different light. The thought ‘if he can be this good as a friend, then imagine what he will do as a boyfriend/girlfriend, Even my boyfriend can’t more than this’. The danger starts looming.

Now let us talk a look at the female nature. Ladies are created to easily fall in love with what they see. They get easily attracted to somebody who is always there for them. All these being said, a guy who is just trying to be a very good friend will end up being crushed on or even being falling in love with by the lady. It doesn’t start at once though. Its a gradual process. From the ordinary friends, comparison with her boyfriend starts[that is if she has one], then she starts seeing him as a boyfriend material. While she might not be able to say it directly due to our culture and traditions down in this part of the world, she starts showing signs of it. Jealousy sets in, if the guy has other female friends, she suddenly becomes uncomfortable, picking on the closest ones to him. At this point, she always wants to be around the guy 24/7 which isn’t necessary if they were just friends. What does a guy do if this happens?

Finally, no where in the world will it be encouraged for any body to be BFFs with an opposite sex because at one point or the other in that friendship, something will happen. Either they date or they just have sex and if none of the above can happen while one party has grown love, then it will take grace to keep the friendship afloat the ocean, ultimately, it will head for the the ice berg just like Titanic and of course we all know what happened to the almighty Titanic.

Finally, this is the same reason why a married woman is always discouraged from keeping male friends either married or single because of the danger involved. Even amongst the unmarried, those in very serious relationships frown at their partners keeping opposite sex as friend, hence the BFF trend tend to happen amongst the unmarried and also not in a relationship peeps..

As we always say back in our primary school debate: I hope with these few points of mine I have been able to convince and not confuse you that opposite sex can never be BFFs.

Kelsmoothng@yahoo.ca

Comments

comments

Follow:

3 Comments

  1. seyifunmi
    March 8, 2016 / 12:35 pm

    Nice write up I think its beta not to be too close with opposite sex

  2. RichTee
    March 14, 2016 / 3:26 pm

    A friend once told me….. ” No matter how long you keep a chicken as a pet, one day you go still chop am”…..

    I have a best female friend and of course never got naughty…. did the thoughts come, YES!!! would i have had my way? YES!!! so why didnt i? well…well…. CHOICE!!!!!

    Bottomline, if e go be, its gonna be based on mutual understanding……

    Am out

    • March 14, 2016 / 3:28 pm

      Exactly Rich Tee👏 Never force it, allow it happen naturally.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *