“Single is no longer a lack of options – but a choice. A choice to refuse to let your life be defined by your relationship status but to live every day Happily and let your Ever After work itself out.”
― Mandy Hale,
Of recent, the line ‘is it your single?’ has been on the lips of every single Naija ladies. Many find solace in that line as the pressure to get married keep pushing you into examining every Tom, Dick and Harry that you meet. You begin to wonder, is he actually my Mr Right? Should I give him the ‘let’s go ahead with this thingy’ feeling?
Gone are those days when it is your call to decide when you want to get married. Gone are those days when no one even care if you are married or not. Now, the moment you are out of school after your first degree and you now manage to get a job (no one cares if your take home is even sufficient for you, at least you are now working), the next question is when are you getting married? Everyone now believes marriage is the core of your existence. Some parent will wait till you clock twenty five and the question begins…If you now mistakenly say you don’t have a bobo, your mother’s next prayer point will be ‘Every spirit husband in the life of my daughter die by fire!’ Some certain tribes in Nigeria even associate age to marriage. Once you are of a particular age and you are still single, you are carrying a curse.
Seriously, I don’t understand this whole thing. Why so much pressure on a lady to get married? I am not too sure guys get so much pressure (I will look forward to reading from the guys on this). But the pressure a girl faces from family, friends, and society is crazy.
I was scrolling through my Instagram feeds the other day and a friend’s picture popped up with her ‘boo‘ and the comments that followed were alarming – when are you guys picking a date? when is it happening? you guys should firm this up soon bla bla bla. And I was like na wa o…sumbori cannot even post a pisho again on her own wall without getting comments like this.
The other day, a friend I haven’t seen or spoken to in years buzzed me and I was so happy to hear from him. I never knew he has reasons for the call and the next thing was, ‘so you never marry up till now?’ I went into a 1minute coma. Like is that why you called? I don’t get it. How does me being single become an issue of concern?
Why do we keep pushing people? Some of you even forget that a girl cannot marry herself. A guy will marry her and until the guy is ready or set, no marriage. Abi is me that will propose to a guy (don’t judge me please,I can’t). Some people are in their late thirties and they are still very much single and I mean single to stupor. So should they go and die because they have not meet society’s expectation.
You will just be having an innocent conversation with someone and the next question you would hear is, ‘When are you going to get married sef?’ Or you attended a wedding with other member of the family, the next thing you’d hear is ‘Eh ya, you own will come soon. God will do it.’ I don’t want any pity party because I am single! I’ve avoided family gathering because of issues like this. Some will even go to the extent of telling you about a younger cousin who just got married. Ha! Like the fact that I am yet to get married means I have just got a death sentence.
Y’all should be calm please. When I am getting married, which eventually will happen at God’s time and when I and bobo is ready, I would announce. Until then can nobody ask me when I am getting married again???
Thanks for reading through. I heart you all big big.
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