This is going to be a rhetoric post, I just need to get some clarifications on this:
It’s going to be a comparison between marriage in the ’40s-80’s and the marriages in the ’20’s. I am going to start this with a quick intro about what I learned from my folks about their marriage…it’s a vague note tho…I was told when I was much younger, there might be a few mix up.
…so I learnt my maternal granny was the arranger…as well as my aunt (momc was her classmates or schoolmate- can’t remember which and I don’t wanna ask). She mentioned mom to granny who got to like mom and then told mom she has a single son in Lagos and would like mom to be wiffy! And just like that, momc started visiting granny and assisting her with house chores and before you know it they have 5kids already! Their marriage has hit the rock times without number, they’ve had disagreement, quarrels and fight but in spite of all these, they are still together for like thirty years now (I can’t believe I’m not sure about that sef, I would confirm. *please don’t judge me*)
Let’s race back to today’s marriage and courting:
My mom can’t decide who I will marry
Daddy, you have no right to choose for me
I love her and I’m going to marry her
She cheated on me and I can’t take her back
She’s not half as beautiful as the woman I wish to marry
He was delaying me and I want to get married this year
How can I even love someone I haven’t met before
She slept with my best friend before I met her, I’m sorry I can’t marry her
Her mom is Edo, she’d be very stubborn
Oh he’s from Ijebu, they can be very stingy
She’s an Ibadan girl, they lack respect
He smokes, I can’t cope with him
At least, we should have sex before marriage. What if he/she cannot ‘do’?
These and many more are making quite a number of people still single even at forty and a lot of these have wrecked many homes. Many couples today cannot even sustain a 2-weeks relationship much more a year old marriage. Divorce has now become a regular thing. ‘I couldn’t cope with the marriage, I just have to let go’, ‘He wasn’t who I thought he was’…what happened to the seven years you both spent in knowing each other???
Most relationships in the 20th century were arranged, supervised and controlled and they turn out to be the best. Divorce was a sacred action in the past. Or could it be that we have more patient women back then? Or our parents are not as bold to walk out of their marriage like the parents of now? I am not saying there were no divorce at all back then but it is clearly not as prevalent as today.
Some will say it’s too much exposure. But whatever it is, I still don’t understand what happen to marriages now? Why can’t we have beautiful homes like that of our parents? Why?
Thanks for reading. Please drop a comment on your view to this in the box below…