I used to feel terrible whenever I say No to someone. I feel I am being rude and I have hurt someone’s feelings. I feel more terrible when I have to ignore the person so I can avoid turning them down to their face. Most times, I realized I end up hurting myself more than the person I’m scared to hurt. Because eventually, I discover what I have accepted to do, I cannot carry through.
Why say No when you wish to say Yes? I’m sure I am not the only one who find myself in this awkward situation. Many times, we are scared of being rejected or cast aside. I remember how much I used to envy my blunt friend. She would look you straight in the eyes and share a piece of her mind. In my heart, I had the same thoughts but I never have the heart to say it out.
I always end up hurt, bitter and hateful after these. Recently, I began to learn how to accept what I want and refuse what I do not want. I ask myself, ‘Debs, do you really want this?’ ‘Do you really have to be there?’ ‘Do you really want to hang out?’ ‘Do you have to buy that clothe?’
Most people dread saying No so they don’t stay outside the box. When you agree with others opinion, you easily fit in. This is so wrong and can make you feel self hate towards yourself tomorrow. I was there. I remember buying those clothes I do not need just so to please the seller and make her feel I’m a rich kid. Afterwards, I look at my account balance and start to cry.
Why on earth should someone keep trying so hard to please someone else at the expense of her own happiness???
You can say No and be happy afterwards. All you need to do is justify the reason. If you feel you have every right to refuse, voila…you are good to go. Just say no and don’t even try to give a reason for saying No. Just say it and move on with your life. I always say you are not Nigeria Jollof rice neither are you a well-fried dodo that you have to please every one. Sometimes, you gotta learn to please YOU!
Ever been in this situation where you have to say No when you mean to say Yes? Why not share the experience. And what’s your thought on this…
Thanks for reading and do not forget to share.