When Does Childbearing Become Shameful?

When Does Childbearing Become Shameful?

‘Her son is barely 6 months and she’s pregnant again?’

‘I used to think she would be one who understands what child spacing mean?’

‘Child spacing??? Her first child was just 8 months when she had her second.’

‘Jesus! She is so shameful to womanhood.’

‘I even used to think she is a career woman and would take time to pursue her career instead of birthing up and down like a dog. She just used marriage to put a full stop to her career.’

‘So disgusting.’

After listening on this conversation, I was closed to tears. Thousands of women out there are dying in so much pain just to get pregnant once in their life. Some are wishing they could have a miscarriage just to prove to the world that they are not barren. Others have been married to different men just to be sure they are not the ones with the ‘problem’. And then someone is having an easy birth…without complications…in her own husband house…she is not a single mother…and some people are bashing her simply because she has refused to space her kids to their own satisfaction!

For goodness sake!

Before I decided to share this post, I was going to read on the pros and cons of child spacing as I am yet to walk through that path. But then I thought against it and decided to be subjective about this post. It really disgusts me when people try to help others define how they should live their lives – read Do not Cast the Stone Except…

A little humor…

Even the bible said in Genesis 1:28 – God blessed them; and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it; and rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over every living thing that moves on the earth.” 

I think the reason why some people have decided to ‘be fruitful and multiply’ quickly is just so they can fulfill that life purpose as soon as they can and have time for other things in their life.

Besides, so many people have waited this long to have sex and I bet they can’t keep their hands off themselves hence the immediate pregnancy shortly after the birth of another…

Asides these, I feel everyone is entitled to what they choose to do with their womb as long as there is no threat to their health. But if you have an uncomplicated delivery- healthy mother healthy child, my sister, please carry on. Nothing do you.

Or would you support abortion???

If your answer to this is NO, then let people breathe and enjoy their marriage in peace. If they can take care of the kids without your help, how then should it be a shameful thing or an headache to you?

Kindly join the discussion, I look forward to reading your thoughts on this.


Akingboye Deborah
My name is Debs, a Nigerian lifestyle blogger. This is my personal space where I share about my travel adventure, fashion and blogging tips. Feel free to send me a mail on for collaboration, sponsorship and ads.

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  • Wuraola September 16, 2016 12:40 pm

    My husband wish I cud give birth to all d kids he wants in a year. Lol but if d woman can cope with rushing her kids n training demand at once den it shudnt be any body’s headache

    • debswritesblog September 16, 2016 12:42 pm

      ??If only that’s possible tho…? My thoughts too!!!

      Thanks for reading and leaving a comment.

  • olubunmi September 16, 2016 1:24 pm

    The fact remains that 90% of couples or better said women would not intentionally have another baby after 6 months of delivery,no way!its always by mistake(pardon my word) but wen it happens they r left wit no choice.Another point i will like to talk on is d critics behind this:people believe d woman might not v recovered so well from d previous delievery,but sincerely it takes time for d womb to go bak in place.Also d stress &time in bringing up 2 babies,but i want to say if d woman or d couple thinks they can cope wit all these then its no ones bussiness.

    • debswritesblog September 16, 2016 1:27 pm

      Exactly my thought too!

      Nobody wishes to go through that trouble of raising two little kids at the same time especially since they are twin. But since it has happen, I don’t feel anyone have the right to criticize another over it!

      Good points!?Thanks for reading

  • Pojo September 16, 2016 3:02 pm

    Child spacing should be based on couple’s discretion and God’s appointed time. God understands the chemistry of every human being he created and he knows our needs At an appointed time he answers prayer but a situation where a mother wean her child for 6 months for another pregnancy is not good. though, mistakes may occur, but its wat can be handled with God’s intervention. To me its not a shameful thing cos I don’t know what such person had experienced.such person may hav been waiting on the Lord for the fruit of the womb and God may have answered her prayer to the extent of conceiving in such manner. But there are some who can’t hold their selves, to the extent of getting pregnant in such manner. I think everything is based on understanding.
    Recommendation: I feel child spacing should be at least 15months-24 months

    • debswritesblog September 16, 2016 3:11 pm

      This is insightful. God’s guidance and wisdom are two perfect combo to walk this path. Thanks for joining the discussion…

  • damilola September 16, 2016 4:38 pm

    Well, to my knowledge, child spacing should be encouraged. And here are my reasons;
    1. To avoid neonates complications such as baby’s premature, weights loss, death, disease among others.
    2. Also, the woman needs to restore the essential nutrients depleted during breast feeding such as iron and folate hence it will affects the baby’s health.
    3. Another effect is increase in Inflammation and uterine rupture for those who attempt caesarean CS.
    See, planning is very important. Partners needs to consider their financial status, why did I mention this, I have seen a pregnant woman who is less than 40years of age with 8 children. The children ain’t properly taken care of, and the parents only Av menial jobs. See, I agree with 1st mistake but wen it turns sequential then its an Abuse. Sorry to use that. But for someone who is rich enough to take care of herself medically, then fine but the woman needs to be medically monitored. Just my tots.

    • debswritesblog September 16, 2016 4:42 pm

      I totally agreed with the points raised…very salient if you ask me.
      Thanks for reading and leaving a comment!?

  • Ebukun Gbemisola Ogunyemi September 17, 2016 7:12 pm


    • debswritesblog September 19, 2016 2:22 pm

      Thanks dear!

  • DamiLoves September 21, 2016 5:29 pm

    I am an advocate for family planning, child spacing and contraception. The emotional and physical strain of raising children and running a home can be difficult for some women to bear; especially if the woman has a husband who believes in traditional gender roles. I suppose it also raises the issue of awareness and accessibility of contraceptives.

    • debswritesblog September 21, 2016 5:36 pm

      Spot on??

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