Most bad behaviour comes from insecurity -Debra Winger
It’s quite easy for him to love you to a fault and still not trust you. Very possible. It’s actually not because he doesn’t want to trust you but because he is super insecure in the relationship. Ladies feel insecure too but I’m going to focus on insecure men in relationships cos I’ve experienced a few and it makes me to understand how the other party feels.
When a guy is insecure in a relationship, he acts really paranoid and doubts everything you tell him. Every of your words, actions, posts, outings, sparks jealousy and distrust. He doesn’t just believe you.
Most times, he doesn’t even know he is insecure and when told, he chooses not to admit it. Well, his ego is on the line..makes it difficult for him to accept he is.
I once dated a guy who will monitor my every move with calls. Whenever I tell him I’m at XYZ place, the next thing is: “Give the phone to (whoever he thinks or I say I’m with), lemme say hello.” At first, I use to think this was sweet until it became so embarrassing and no longer unbearable. Our major fights always come from this ‘abnormality’.
Insecurity is never safe for any relationship. It breeds discord, incessant fights, and low self esteem.
“What ruins relationships and causes most fights is insecurity” — Olivia Wilde
I believe every couple should be able to sit and talk about their past. Many men are insecure because of PAST BAD RELATIONSHIPS, where they have lost one whom they truly loved because they trusted them too much and these ones cheated on them eventually. Hence, this mindset has taken over their entire thoughts that no woman should be trusted.
You should read Bottled Emotions Killed Relationships
If you aren’t certain if you are insecure in your relationship, answer the below:
- Are you always trying to go through your partner’s phone behind them?
- Do you constantly ask your partner about her ex?
- Do you avoid confrontational argument with your partner?
- Are you constantly asking her about reassurance of her love for you?
- Are you always worried you are not good enough for her?
- Do you always doubt where she told you she’s at?
- Do you call her from time to time to confirm where she is?
If you answer yes to all the above, you are insecure in your relationship and it could make you lose her. Fret not however…you can still fix it.
It’s indeed sad, society and biology has remain in conflict when it comes to relationship, hence the inability to find a balance. If you notice you have any of this tendency, you could still work your way out of it and not lose your golden girl. You could try these:
- Learn to trust your partner and see them for who they really are
- Trust and love yourself deeply
- Never stop telling yourself how valuable you are and believe it
- Stop being defensive when you have issues; talk it out and accept when you are wrong
- Stop being paranoid over nothing
- Let go of the baggage of your past
- Communicate with your partner openly and truly
- Stop brewing up problems that do not exist
- Focus on the positives in your relationship
- Don’t start a relationship until you are certain you’ve put away your insecurities to a minimal level, otherwise the cycle will continue on and on…
Have you ever felt insecure in your relationship? How did you overcome it? What makes you feel insecure in your relationship? Don’t be shy, let’s talk about it…
“One of the greatest journeys in life is overcoming insecurity and learning to truly not give a shit.”– J.A. Konrath