Relationship: Law of Diminishing Return

When I was in college, (we call that secondary school in Nigeria), I learnt the Law of Diminishing Return in Economics. Little did I know this is also found in relationship as well. The illustration my Economist teacher explained then was etched on my innocent mind and I grew up experiencing this in my daily life. I craved for things so much and after getting a bite, two, three, four…I no longer want it anymore with the same degree of want as the first time.

Getting Bored in a Relationship
Law of Diminishing Returns in Relationship

However, as I become more matured, I realized this law is not only limited to things. We find it among humanity. We find ourselves craving so hard to meet someone, to know them, to become their best friend, to date them and to marry them possibly.

But, the excitement of meeting them is never the same as the months/years roll by. Eventually, they become that girl and they no longer excite us. That is when man needs become insatiable and he craves another.

Remember when you just meet your spouse. The intense desire to know them, to always talk to them, face timing every now and then, Skype, unlimited calls, SMS back and forth, walking with them all through the day. You can even predict their next action because you know them too well.

Forget what they make you believe on social media, after a while all this excitement dies. Even before many get married, all these initial affection start to wear off.

Relationship expert will always say, “Ignite the spark in your love life, go on adventure, try new things” but trust me, all these are easier said than done. Especially, when you both start getting attention outside the relationship. Everything about your current spouse begin to bore you and you feel comfortable with the new person. Even if he or she is just a friend. And before you know it, you begin to compare…

Bottom line is, are these phases every human is meant to go through? Are these usual occurrence that almost everyone experience? Are we not meant to only and continue to enjoy the spark with the one we choose over every other potential person out there?

If you are experiencing boredom in your relationship, it is not the end of the world. As long as you can pinpoint that this is the problem and take action, you and your partner can both avoid reaching the point of any overall unhappy relationship.

Yes, it can be revived. But at that point, what do you think happened? Are humans too meant to experience Law of Diminishing Returns with themselves?

My friends will say it is See Finish, but whichever word is appropriate, you both still have forever to go…how are you expected to cope with all these in future?

Over to you darlings, what are your thoughts on the above raised questions? Or could it be that those two were never meant to be to start with? Join the discussion…

P.S: My e-book Fading Away is still available for downloads on Okadabooks. You can check my Instagram and Facebook page to read reviews on it Debwritesblog and Debwritesblog.

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14 thoughts on “Relationship: Law of Diminishing Return

  • July 5, 2017 at 3:15 pm

    This is one topic and area of relationship matters that gives me great concerns. I am still looking for the best words and answers to give for this.

    The truth is, everything ends…
    Feelings ends
    Friendship ends
    Life ends
    Attention ends

    The world system is structured to go up and come down eventually

    The only thing that doesn’t end is God’s love and his word.

    So dear, I might not have the answers but what is most important is to enjoy the moments, cherish the people and enjoy things while it lasts.

    Nothing lasts forever except Gods word

    • July 5, 2017 at 3:21 pm

      Hm, this is another interesting angle to explore. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this RichTee 🙏🏼🙏🏼

      • July 5, 2017 at 4:00 pm

        I totally agree with Richtee..even the things that seem worthwhile (the relationships that are dope and of value are vanity) IN THE SENSE THAT we keep going round and round in circles. The feelings will fade, you’ll fight for your relationship solely and only because it is God founded. God is the constant in the equation. He is the reason I’ll stay and fight and live and love for anyone (husband, friend, mom)

        • July 5, 2017 at 4:06 pm

          I am so learning much today! Thanks Sharon, interesting view…Sometimes our own love are never enough truly.

  • July 5, 2017 at 3:42 pm

    Never been in this situation tho…have never fallen out of love before.
    It’s scary when you think about it,but if and when you are with THE ONE,everyday,everymin,every seconds with them is bliss❤️❤️❤️Am a lover yo

    • July 5, 2017 at 3:50 pm

      ❤️❤️ Glad it’s something you’ve not experienced😊 Thanks for leaving a comment, Myra 🙏🏼

  • July 5, 2017 at 3:44 pm

    Try obssession and you would never lose the spark

    • July 5, 2017 at 3:51 pm

      Thanks Wale 🙏🏼🙏🏼

  • July 5, 2017 at 4:01 pm

    I think the spark will always die, it is now left to you if you thubj this perosn is worth it, if you want to rekindle it or you want to move on to “the next big thing”. I think this is how long lasting relationships work – seeing if it is worth rekindling the spark

    • July 5, 2017 at 4:05 pm

      🤔 I love this view, Sharon. And rekindling starts from communication too. Thanks for sharing your thoughts 🙏🏼😊

  • July 5, 2017 at 10:34 pm

    For me Love is a decision and not a feeling. Feelings is fickles in nature depending on moods and circumstances.
    That’s why I advised you took time before being committed in a relationship. Is she/he someone you really like? If the answer is in the affirmative, you must then make your decision but your decision should be based on compatible values.
    If your values don’t align well with your partner, there is possibility things begins to wear off.

    Love is a decision not a feeling, when people understands that, it helps to maintain that spark.

    That’s why I often told myself to be faithful in anything I’m involved in. Being faithful requires a lot from you as an individual. Do you do what you say you will do at the specific time you said you would? Do you make promise either to yourself or others and fulfill it or you make excuse?

    These are little but powerful values if consciously developed and carries over into a typical relationship is beneficial..

    Law of diminishing return exist because of lack of discipline. We should learn how to be content.

    Don’t want my comment to be longer than your post,Lol.


  • July 6, 2017 at 5:49 am

    Law of diminishing returns is not necessarily applicable to all walks of life (lawbof diminishing returns is not a constant variable), not everything ends….the only thing that unarguably ends is life…..but friendships, relationships , career etc “may” not necessarily end…having challenges can also not be necessarily attributed to law of diminishing returns. I totally agree with D’Dream…
    The spark and excitement does not always die…it dies for some…it remains for increase for some…it reduces for others…
    It is truly a lack of discipline, creativity,adventure and contentment to constantly feel bored about a relationship and then the person moves to the next and gets bored again and moves to the next…when will it end?
    You can’t always get the 10 text messages in a day, face timing and skyping every 5 hours, 3 hours on the phone because life will happen (kids would come in, more responsibility would come in etcetera etcetera), this doesn’t mean law of diminishing return has happened,it only means you both had to create more time to accommodate these responsibilities that has come in…

  • July 7, 2017 at 8:33 pm

    Just thought of the law after reading this post. I guess it doesn’t apply to all relationships as some people are capable of keeping the sparks alive. One beauty of being in love is knowing a little bit more about the partner with each passing day.

    • July 8, 2017 at 12:14 am

      Yes Dammy, I agree with you it doesn’t apply to all relationships. Thanks for joining the discussion dear ❤️


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