Don’t Pressure Him for Marriage!

After a long discussion…

Colleague: By the way, are you married?

Me: ? Ah no

Colleague: But why?

Me: What kind of question is this? How am I suppose to answer why I’m not yet married?<< lleague: noticed my hesitation… But you will soon, right?

Me: Well, yeah…this year or next…

Colleague: But how come you are not sure?

Me: ??now this is getting really interesting… Well, for one, bobo is marrying me not the other way round. Plus two, what if we are both not financially ready yet?

Colleague: My dear, you are not supposed to wait for him to be ready. Men are never ready. You are suppose to push him until he is ready. And on the financial ish, get married and see doors opening for you…

Me : I looked at him, shook my head, stood up and walked away… Some of you will say my feminist and faithless side is coming alive.

ehn, I don’t subscribe to a lady pushing a man for marriage. I despise it. If you like tell me I will remain single for life…that won’t kill me, as long as I am happy, *sips tea* Why should I push a man for marriage if he doesn’t want it? Why please? Why will you wait, as a man, for your spouse to tell you it’s time to get married? For Christ sake!

It only proves that your relationship was never defined from the start. It only means you both were dating just for shag sake.

I really do not believe men needs to be pushed into marriage. I know a few who were never pushed except of course he does not love you enough or he’s not convinced you are the one he wants to marry.

‘Faith without works is dead.’  <

christian, dating, feminism, marriage, marriage pressure,


  1. Bolarin David Olumide
    January 14, 2017 / 9:47 pm

    I support your thought all the way. A realist in the making… But, I can not but laugh when i saw this phrase “” The hunger that will beat you and your wife is still doing press up.””… I was like Debs! Bad girl with bad mouth…. Lol.
    Indeed u are mouthed. ?

    • debadmin
      January 14, 2017 / 9:48 pm

      ??? Someone just have to say it. Thanks for reading David!

  2. January 15, 2017 / 3:07 pm

    I support your point of view! No man needs to be rushed into anything, not to call, not to date, not to marry. Pushing a man to any action is futile at best

    • debadmin
      January 15, 2017 / 3:09 pm

      Thanks for sharing your thought on this, Dami.

  3. Obehioye Faith
    January 15, 2017 / 6:59 pm

    Yes men shouldn’t be pushed for marriage because
    1. Marriage comes with a lot of responsibilities and if u were the one that pushed that man to become a married man, he will so frustrate u when he is not having the means to meet those responsibilities but if otherwise he will be very serious with his job and tries very hard to see that he doesn’t fail his wife or children.
    2. U enjoy the man more cos he will shower u with enough love, care and attention. You will enjoy peace and rest in ur home, u won’t run helter skelter to please him in the marriage.
    And this will even make u enjoy even the little u both have.
    3. My last point is every lady should know that marriage surpasses the one or two days celebration. That is the wedding, so it is good for both of u to be well prepared for the aftermath of the wedding celebration.
    Wait, prepare and pray, God will do what no man can do for u in ur home.
    Stay blessed

    • debadmin
      January 15, 2017 / 7:08 pm

      I’m in so much awe about this comment. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this. God bless you more dear?

  4. January 16, 2017 / 11:24 am

    You really needed to see me exclaiming ‘Ahn Ahn’ each time I read your colleague’s unflattering questions. His opinion is nothing to write home about either, coming from a guy! Chai. I support all what you’ve said 100%. So I should get married first, and shouldn’t bother about the financial stability for us both? By the time reality hugs ‘them’ both, they’ll feed on love sebi? Mtceeew. You should have told him to “come and be going”. I love you Debs! Your head is correct.

    • debadmin
      January 16, 2017 / 11:28 am

      ??? I honestly should have said that. Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts, Rolayo?

  5. January 17, 2017 / 7:37 am

    “Don’t push a good man away because you can’t wait to get married. You can discuss such plans with him but please don’t pressurize him into marrying you”

    This is so profound and true.

    I think that settles it all.

    Lovely Piece

    Welldone Dear

    • debadmin
      January 17, 2017 / 7:42 am

      Thanks for reading and sharing your thought in this Tee?

  6. January 18, 2017 / 9:01 am

    dunno why the hype and ;senrere; from different folks especially those the matter did not even ‘consign’.

    How many marriages suffers because the guy was forced or subtly arm-twisted in making such a life long commitment. Every guy has a plan of what to achieve before tying the knot, so why harassing him to hurry up?

    Last Sunday, i and a friend were discussing after service when one aproko lady came calling.

    ‘are you guys married? (while trying to press a couple dinner ticket in our palms)’
    ‘No, we are not’
    ‘what are you guys waiting for? Are you sure you are both husband material?’
    Madam, we have enough husband material and in case we don’t have, any problem with that?
    nothing is wrong, I was just thinking maybe you guys should be fast about it(As if prizes or awards are given for being married, tschew)
    Thank you!

    Imagine, open doors after being married. who said that, isn’t that dumb?

    In fact I have told my own people nobody should ask me about getting married or not, the next time they do is the day i’do make the final decision to become a reverend father. in fact i dey vex as i typed this……LOL

    Very interesting topic you brought up!

    • debadmin
      January 18, 2017 / 9:17 am

      You can’t imagine the anger in me after hearing that. I think marriage is overrated in this part of my society. It’s beginning to sound like some traditions you must perform to move to your next stage in life!

      Thanks for sharing your thought on this Emmanuel.

      • January 18, 2017 / 9:28 am

        Marriage is truly overhyped, can’t I enjoy living without the being tied to someone? It gets crazy especially when you are refused certain privileges or promotions you are duly qualified and due for just because you are not a Mrs or Mr.
        The same attitude is directed towards couple with no children yet, can’t people respect the fact some couples even the women don’t want children (and yes nothing is wrong with the couple). Not every couple can father or mother a child. Some married couples can deal with the different roles they have to play and the financial commitment that it entails.

        I am happy for those who get married, it is their choice and i respect that but trying to tag me along the same path I have no plan for at the moment or in future is kinda disrespectful.

        • debadmin
          January 18, 2017 / 9:42 am

          Extremely disrespectful! I will when I am ready for that line not before, not after!

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