Sequel to my last post, someone asked a question in the comment section about how to go about the issue of a first date in long distance relationships. Not quite sure if I answered correctly but I thought it won’t be bad to write a post about long distance relationships.
I’ve asked a number of people in the past if they prefer long distance relationships or not, and quite a number have said they prefer it and the others have said no.
The argument of the former is that it builds trust, self dependency, and also builds up intimacy unlike when you get to see each other everyday, the affection will wane off.After all, absence, they say, makes the heart fonder. Click To Tweet
But then, when you are married, you get to be together forever.
Well, everyone has a point no matter how weak an argument may be. As for me, long distance is not my thing, speaking from experience. So, I guess it’s safe for me to speak on this topic. Here are a few tips I have jotted down on how to survive long distance relationships.
1. Never go to bed angry
See there’s no way two different people will be in a relationship and there won’t be a day when you both decide not to agree on something. This is where a fight erupts. This is too normal considering the fact that you are both brought up differently so it’s understandable if you have different strong opinions on issues. However, never ever go to bed without fixing it. If you do, one party or both tends to overthink it before day break and that’s just the beginning of a more brutal war.
Hence, always find a way to reach a consensus on every issue, even if it means you have to agree to disagree. It is safer and then the next day, if you still wish to address it, please do.
2. Never give room for mistrust
I once shared a post on insecurities in a relationship. This is bad for long distance relationship. Extremely bad. How can you be in a relationship and not even trust the other party? If you don’t, this is going to be harder for you both. Every action and move they make will make you suspicious. It’s advisable to have a level of trust for your partner otherwise, do not commit yourself to that relationship, it won’t just work.Having issues in your long distance relationship? Read this Click To Tweet
3. Avoid third parties in your relationship
I can be guilty of this when I’m mad. But it’s really the death of any growing relationship. Try as much as possible to keep your relationship away from third parties and this include families and friends. Especially when you are upset. These ones will make you start having doubts about your partner, and considering that this is someone you hardly see. So it’s going to be their word against his/hers and that’s how a seed of discord begin to grow between you both.
When you are upset, rather than tell someone else, write it down and when you feel a bit better or even in the heat of the moment, share with your partner. Let them understand how badly you felt and find a way to resolve this without involving any other party. This is easier said than done, but try as much as possible to make this a part of you.
4. Keep the communication alive
This has been overemphasized in too many posts. Even for relationships that are not long distance, communication is the key; how much more a long distance relationships.
You both just need to keep in touch at all times as much as you can. Talk about everything and anything whenever you can. This way, it keeps you both going. Make use of video calls, voice calls, Skype, Whatsapp calls and if you both are not against Public Display of Affection, call each other out on social media, mark your territories.
5. Be involved in each other’s progress
When communication is alive, you are involved in every step your partner takes. When he or she makes a mistake, you get to know about it first. That way you can come in as the best friend and parent and find a way to fix it together. Share your daily struggles, and work together to help each other grow.
When he/she achieves a huge task, celebrate your victories together in your own special ways.
6. Work and agree on a meet date
Another way to keep the sparks alive irrespective of the distance is to communicate on meet dates. Nothing makes a woman more excited than this. Even the man begin to prepare and plan towards this day. It keeps you both anticipating and excited, no matter how long it may be.
Talk about the day and plan ahead for it. Where would you meet? What would you do? How long will you be together? Where are the places you would visit? What would you wear? Never stop talking about it until the D-day.
7. No matter the distance, remember important dates in each other’s life and send gifts.
Oh dear, this is too important. I choose to talk about it last for emphasis. Surprise your partner with gifts. This is going to mean a whole lot to them. No matter how many oceans and mountains you have in between you, let your love for each other break this bounds by remembering special dates with gifts.
You can also surprise them on any other days just so they know your thoughts are with them. To achieve this, you can liaise with their siblings or best friend to make this happen. You can send shout out on her favorite radio program, send customized gift, movie tickets, deliver lunch, and a whole lot of other mushy ways of showing affection.
Long distance relationships can be hard but it takes a lot of patience, time, effort, dedication and two matured people to make it work. Don’t be scared, believe in yourselves and you both will break bounds and make this a success.
Are you in a long distance relationship? How do you cope? Would you prefer a long distance relationship or prefer to have your partner close to you? Do leave a comment below, I’d love to read from you.
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