The Perfect Chief Bridesmaid in the Naija Style

The Perfect Chief Bridesmaid in the Naija Style

Congratulations if your best friend is getting married and you have been given the honor of being her chief bridesmaid. These tips are tailored solely for you, to be the perfect chief bridesmaid.

I’d like to proudly say that I am now some sort of authority in the Bridesmaid industry. Everything I write here, you can take it to the bank, considering the fact that I have deduced these tips from my own personal experience. You’re welcome.

 

Have you read Relationship: Law of Diminishing Return?

Tips to Being The Perfect Chief Bridesmaid

#1: Do not waste your time in googling chief bridesmaid duties.

It will lead you nowhere. You need to understand that the Nigerian thinking is different. A Nigerian wedding is not set up like a white wedding so the tips you will find online will not help you at all. For example they will say, ‘Make sure the bride is calm and happy‘. When in the morning you’re hustling to get your make up done in time for church so that nobody will shout at you. How are you supposed to calm the bride when you are faced with your own small wahala? In my case sef, the bride got ready and went down before me. It was just God that helped me make it down in time for her departure to church.

P.S: Don’t forget her flat sandals o. Except she is like my sister and heels are like bare feet to her. Take your own too o, because even if you are the queen of heels, the errands you will run during the reception won’t let you be great.

#2: You can’t afford to fumble in church.

Especially if you are the junior sister of the bride and your mother has been warning about it for almost two months. Half the time, they might just be exaggerating o, but still listen to them. Do not grab the whole train and hold unto it tight, like you are trying to protect it from dirt. The bride knew there was sand on the ground before she bought the dress, so don’t make it look as if she bought the wrong dress.

Just arrange the train and walk behind her to make sure she isn’t stepping on the dress. Finish. Shine small in church o, because things are going to get lit at the reception.

Have you been selected as a bridesmaid? Is this your first time? Then, you should read this. Click To Tweet

#3: Let me just tell you, most of the time, you are actually a slave of both bride and groom.

So get ready. When the best man that has bae leaves his job during reception and goes to sit down like a guest, you are the one that will go and look for food for the groom. You cannot say no because the bride will change it for you. So beg the best man after mass/service to stay put and beg his bae to be good so that he won’t be distracted. Except the best man is your bae. He can only misbehave and go and sit with his friends, that one sef is not a problem, by the time you threaten him, he will behave. No time.

#4: A huge paper bag is an essential part of your chief bridesmaid starter park.

You’ll need it to pick all the money that people will spray the couple. The couple has trusted you with this money and you can’t joke with it. The dance with the couple is not for you so better concentrate on your job and don’t start dabbing up and down. Don’t vex if it is only 20 Naira notes you pick, after all, tiny drops of water make a mighty ocean.

#5: You need to get those tears ready.

When everyone is escorting her to her husband’s house, you have to cry. Don’t allow her mother in law start thinking ‘This one that they are not crying as she is going, I hope she is a good girl o.’ Cry as if she is relocating to the abroad and you will never see her again.  Don’t just cry, weep. If you have to use Mentholatum and onions, use it. Let her feel loved.

Chief Bridesmaid Starter pack

I hope I have helped you on your journey to becoming the perfect bridesmaid. If the bride doesn’t come and thank you after her honeymoon, then she’s the one with the problem. You’d need to address her ingratitude.

Have you ever been a Chief Bridesmaid? Or you’ve experienced any of these first hand or by recount? Share the experience.

Lets get social:

Facebook – Debwritesblog

Twitter – Debwritesblog

Instagram – Debwritesblog

Pinterest – Debwritesblog

Written by Jacinta Amune, code name, Jinx who writes at theculturefit.com. Follow her on Instagram @theculturefit.

Follow:

22 Comments

  1. Sholape
    March 19, 2018 / 3:56 pm

    Lmaoo! Nice one. Especially the flat shoe abi slippers part.

    • March 19, 2018 / 4:05 pm

      Don’t even try not to carry that ‘slippers’, you’d not like to make your bride walk bare footed 😅

  2. March 20, 2018 / 5:24 am

    😂 @ “keep those tears ready”
    I honestly don’t know how to force tears out. I might just be smiling and waving. If the thing do me, I may laugh sef 😂
    It’s true about the “slavery” thing though. Your the maid for that day. Suck it up 😂
    Don’t mind me. I enjoyed this post.
    ♥️

    • March 20, 2018 / 6:04 am

      I’m glad you did dear 😅 Better carry onions handy if you won’t find tears

  3. March 20, 2018 / 8:50 am

    This was one good read abeg… I laughed all through

    • March 20, 2018 / 8:53 am

      I bet you did. Thanks for stopping by, Ngozi.

  4. March 20, 2018 / 9:42 am

    OMG! I laughed all through. Carry her flats, very very important. If you forget you’re so going back home. Get the tears ready part got me laughing so hard, what about someone like me who’d laugh until the mother-in-law starts suspecting?
    I totally enjoyed this post, well-done.
    nessytalks.com

    • March 20, 2018 / 9:43 am

      🤣🤣🤣You had better not laugh! Otherwise, they’d throw you out of the hall 😅 Thank you, Nessy

  5. March 20, 2018 / 12:42 pm

    😂😂
    I’m going to be in this position next week Saturday o. Lol… You guys will hear all about my experience afterwards.
    These tips are certainly going to be helpful!

    • March 20, 2018 / 12:51 pm

      I really cannot wait to read your experience. In fact, I am excited on your behalf already, ahahahaha.

  6. March 20, 2018 / 3:34 pm

    This was a fun post to read. I’ll keep it in mind when my friends and big sisters start getting married. For now, biko let us serve our father land first. I’ll probably be an overbearing perfectionist but at the same time cool bridesmaid.

    Life of Dammy

    • March 20, 2018 / 3:35 pm

      Please do keep in mind. Overbearing perfectionist? This definitely will make two of us.

  7. March 20, 2018 / 3:57 pm

    This is so funny especially #5….I’m sure crying will be easy for me coz I’ll definitely be so stressed up already by then I’ll just burst into tears. I’ve been part of a bridal train before and it was so stressful ranging from the makeup to the hair on my head..I felt like pulling it off all through. I can only imagine what a chief bridesmaid will go through. Had so much fun reading this..

    • March 20, 2018 / 4:03 pm

      You just reminded me of when I had to plan a wedding for someone. During the event, someone talked me down and the next thing I knew was that I just teared up. I did not see the tear coming! It was so embarrassing and frustrating. It took a lot of nerve calming conversation to make me feel better.

  8. Priceless Richy
    March 21, 2018 / 11:06 am

    Lolz, babe dis is so true and real. If u are d friend of bride self u go too work let alone bribeslave( not maid). Nice one dear, more insight.

    • March 21, 2018 / 11:07 am

      I’m telling you 😅 Just know you are not there to enjoy the party but make the party happen.

  9. ThatSola
    March 21, 2018 / 1:43 pm

    Standing ovation!
    This na real naija version of the Bridesmaids…

    • March 21, 2018 / 1:45 pm

      🤣🤣🤣 Exactly Sola. Jacinta captured it just aptly.

  10. March 28, 2018 / 8:30 am

    The crying part got me 😂😂😂; mentholatum all the way! Great post dear 👏🏼. Keep the ink flowing

  11. April 2, 2018 / 11:43 am

    😂😂😂@ get those tears ready. That Is the one I cannot do bcoz I can’t fake tears Biko. The mother in-law can think what she wants to think. It’s a free world. Anyways I have never been a Chief bridesmaid before. I always tot it tasking. Great post dear

    • April 2, 2018 / 12:12 pm

      It is too tasking to be honest. I hope you get to do it one of this days to know how it feels

What do you think? Leave a comment

%d bloggers like this: