The 3rd Party Judgement

The 3rd Party Judgement

So often we find ourselves judging others without even listening to their sides of the story. We judge others based on hearsay and assumptions. While I agree there’s an iota of truth in every rumor, we still need to give others a sense of doubt.

Something happened to my Kidsis while she was around visiting. There’s this ‘aboki’* that grinds pepper opposite our house. The other day Kidsis went there to blend and she ended up overpricing the dude. I guess the pricing did not go well with the aboki and she told Kidsis to leave which she did angrily.

Fast forward to days later, she went back there only for this man to say he would never ever blend for her again. I sent someone else to this guy but the moment he saw the container, he knew where it was coming from and still refuses to.  Ever since, we had to look for alternatives, alternatives that takes us miles away especially when electricity fails which has become a thing now.

Later on, we learnt Mr Aboki wasn’t even the owner of the machine as he works for the landlady of the house he lives. And madam has been wondering why we pass by her house with container (she must have guessed we choose to go to other places rather than hers).

She never asked. She felt bad and hated us for that.

When Kidsis visited again, she felt it doesn’t make sense going long distance when you have a means just a stone throw and decided to report Oga Aboki to his madam.

Madam was shocked and couldn’t believed such has ever transpired between us. She felt bad for judging us wrongly when it was his boy that has gone overboard with his actions. She apologized profusely and condemned the boy.

What am I trying to say?

We should always listen to others before judging them. Personally I hate petty talks. I believe everyone has a reason for their actions. If we walk half a mile in another person’s shoe, we’d understand better why they stop every quarter mile before proceeding on the journey.

Too many challenges here and there. While I agree some people are just trouble makers, others have reasons for their actions.

So please, before you cast aspersions on another…ask them why it has happened. If you feel too important to ask, then shut your mouth up and please do not judge them for their actions! You aren’t God and you have no right whatsoever to make others feel guilty and terrible about their actions.

What are thoughts on this? Have you ever judged someone else wrongly before hearing their sides of the story? How did you reconcile? Have you ever been judged wrongly? How did you feel?

Feel free to join the discussion and share on any of your social media page.

If you love this post, you can also check Thou Shalt Not Judge  or Do not Cast the Stone Except…

ABOKI – An Hausa word for friend

“Judgement is often no more than a confession of ignorance.”
Bill Clegg

Akingboye Deborah
You guessed right, my name is Deborah! And welcome to my blog. I love exploring issues around relationships, love, fashion, books, movies, health, career...basically everything you can think of when you think of lifestyle, yeah. Welcome to my blog!

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  • oshamebinum February 8, 2017 11:15 pm

    This lovely post is very timely for me because judging people by their actions had become a thing that I have been unlearning these past few days…I always always try to come up with great excuses for their actions so I do not get hurt until I can hear them out..

    Thanks for this Debs..

    • debadmin February 9, 2017 8:30 am

      I can relate to your point dear. We should always hear people out when we hear certain things about them.

      Thanks for reading and leaving a thought.

  • Ajibike Oyinda February 12, 2017 1:01 pm

    Imagine! I am quite a victim of this 3rd party issue a lot of times. Although I also used to judge some people based on hearsay, I have learned it is not the best way to see people. Assumptions aren’t cool either.

    • debadmin February 12, 2017 1:05 pm

      We are in this together my dear but I know better now and try as much as possible to avoid petty talks.

      Thanks for sharing your thoughts,Dammy

  • D’Dream February 20, 2017 5:04 pm

    Truth is I used to judge people on hearsay until I realised what I heard isn’t alwaysntrue because there are always more than two sides to an issue.

    Assumptions aren’t cool either but I have learn not to judge people until I meet them or otherwise.

    May God help us all when we have a pole in our eyes but are too engrossed in tryingnto figure out a mote in another person eyes

    • Debwritesblog February 20, 2017 5:18 pm

      A big amen to that prayer ????
      Thanks for joining the discussion Emmanuel

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