Obsession and How To Deal With It

Obsession and How To Deal With It

“Being ignored by someone whose attention means the world to you is the worst feeling ever.”

The same way we have obsession over food, clothing and places, we find ourselves obsessing over humans. For those who are hopeless romantic, you suddenly find yourself becoming addicted to one person, crushing on him or her and then becoming excessively obsessed about them.

Your entire world revolves around this one person and you find it unbearable when it is not reciprocated.

The question on your mind now is, how do you know it’s obsession?

1. You want to talk to them everyday

2. You can’t stop stalking them on social media. You know everything about them without anyone telling you.

3. You can’t have a decent conversation with someone without mouthing their name like it’s some delicious food

4. When they don’t chat or talk with you, it feels as if someone has just died

5. You can’t make any move in life without first seeking their approval either directly or indirectly

6. When someone leave a cute comment on their page especially the opposite sex, you suddenly feel cheated.

A lot of people confuses this with being in love with the other party, but the depressing part of it is when the other party doesn’t even care about you. Not like they do not care about you as humans, they do not feel the same way you feel about them. This is crazy, trust me. Some people can get excessively obsessed about the other sex if not well controlled. While some people can manage obsession, some cannot.

When every of your actions towards them is frustrated and not reciprocated, that’s the number one fact that you need to get a grip on yourself.

“What consumes your mind, control your life”

Have you read Relationship: Law of Diminishing Return?

How do you stop ‘loving’ someone you’d readily catch a grenade for?

1. Admit You have an Obsession. So they say the golden rule to getting over an habit is admitting it. The moment you agree you are obsessed over someone, is the day you begin to get over such.

2. Block them off your social media handles. That way you see less of them. The less you see, the less you think about them. And you don’t get to see all those cute comments people leave on their pages that makes you get more upset.

3. Delete their contacts. That will help you not to be tempted to call them. I really hope someone has not memorized the number. Also delete every pictures of them you have saved.

4. Get your hands busy. An idle mind they say is the devil’s workshop. When your hands are busy, your mind is wandering on how to solve the task at hand.

5. Tell yourself everyday that this person doesn’t feel the same way. Do this repeatedly and you begin to unconsciously feel the need to let go.

6. Shift this obsession to yourself. Obsess about how smart, beautiful/handsome and intelligent you are. Explore new ideas and challenges and do not stop until you succeed at them.

Everyone has at one point or the other find themselves obsessed about certain people and will not be fulfilled until they get the person’s approval, it is toxic and damaging to us as individual and could definitely ruin our relationships with others.

This post was inspired by a message I culled from DearSalmah’s Whatsapp DP as seen below.

obseesion and how to deal with it

Have you ever been obsessed about someone? Have you ever confused obsession with love? How did you handle this? Know someone who is in this same situation, why not share this post with them.


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  1. susanspecs
    January 18, 2018 / 1:06 pm

    If the two people involved are in love but one of them still shows these symptoms you mentioned above? Can it still be called obsession?

    Nice post!!

    • Akingboye Deborah
      January 18, 2018 / 1:10 pm

      Yes it can dear and the person need to work on it to make sure it doesn’t destroy the beautiful relationship they are grooming.

  2. awodani oluwakayode
    January 18, 2018 / 1:14 pm

    Wow… Nice, makes alot of sense… Learnt alot…

    • Akingboye Deborah
      January 18, 2018 / 1:15 pm

      Thanks for reading, Kay ??

  3. January 18, 2018 / 1:32 pm

    Nice post, with people? I’ve never been obsessed, I can never be, with things? I’m obsessed with blogging


    • Akingboye Deborah
      January 18, 2018 / 1:45 pm

      Ahahaha, obsession with blogging, that’s interesting ?

  4. morolayorwrites
    January 18, 2018 / 2:19 pm

    Well said! But your fine face was a distraction ??

    • Akingboye Deborah
      January 18, 2018 / 2:31 pm

      ??? Thanks dear

  5. yorubaconnect
    January 18, 2018 / 4:45 pm

    Nice peace… Well structured.

    • Akingboye Deborah
      January 18, 2018 / 4:46 pm

      Thanks dear ?

  6. Seyi
    January 18, 2018 / 5:06 pm

    “Obsession is the wellspring of genius and madness.” Miken de Montaigne

    Obsession isn’t totally bad but being obsessed with the wrong person is worst.

    • Akingboye Deborah
      January 18, 2018 / 5:50 pm

      Preach. Obsessing over the wrong person is definitely hurting and heart rendering.

  7. January 18, 2018 / 5:12 pm

    Obsession is an ugly thing, honestly. I believe one of the best ways to deal with it is to be quite extreme – unfollow on social media, delete texts, delete WhatsApp/BBM messages. Pick a different route to get to a destination. Stop listening to certain songs, etc.

    Stop deliberately putting yourself in situations where it’s easy for you to fall back into the habit. You have to be tough; it’s not something you successfully deal with by pampering or petting yourself. You have to go hard. Lol. But you also have to give yourself time.

    • Akingboye Deborah
      January 18, 2018 / 5:15 pm

      …pick a different route to get to a destination!

      Too apt! Thanks Oma

      • January 18, 2018 / 6:53 pm

        I have been obsessed over a certain person that led to depression along other issues. IHUOMA just said it all, I had to go hard, it’s like quitting an addiction and getting addicted to something else to distract your mind. At the end of the day, if one doesn’t let go, you hurt yourself!

        • Akingboye Deborah
          January 18, 2018 / 6:56 pm

          Exactly. I’ve been there too. You just have to find something to help you find your balance and get over it.

          Hard as it may be, it’s achievable. At least for the sake of a sane mind!

  8. Tosin Soyannwo
    January 18, 2018 / 5:54 pm

    When a guy calls or chats you up 24/7 that’s doesn’t mean he really loves you, you might just be that friend that keeps his company. That caught my attention. Thanks for that word Debs

    • Akingboye Deborah
      January 18, 2018 / 5:56 pm

      I’m glad it did, thanks Tee ?

  9. Molokwu Peter
    January 18, 2018 / 6:58 pm

    I was obsessed with Soft drinks, wine just anything drinkable some months ago and i was able to overcome that by always getting rid of the thoughts immediately,would just pick water as an alternative.. it was very hard but it happened.

    • Akingboye Deborah
      January 18, 2018 / 7:01 pm

      I’m so glad you were intentional about getting over it. The fact that you admitted it is the first right step.

  10. Samuel Yisa
    January 18, 2018 / 6:59 pm

    This is an interesting topic. In my view, obsession is a symptom of a much bigger problem – what some psychologists call “co-depency”.

    The real problem is that such a person transfers their emotional stability to the subject of the obsession….in extreme situations, it could lead to being emotionally handicapped and becoming an object of abuse.

    To the person having obsession issues, the solution would be to ask yourself, “why am I so dependent on this person?” Once you have the answer, deal with it…the problem is not the person(so there’s no need to run away)…the person is only pointing to a deficiency.

    • Akingboye Deborah
      January 18, 2018 / 7:04 pm

      …once you answer the question, deal with it!


      I haven’t really heard about ‘co-dependency’ but I’d read up on it.

  11. firstmahn
    January 18, 2018 / 9:06 pm

    Great post! Obsession definitely needs to be checked. Of a truth, at some point in our life we have been obsessed with persons who unfortunately do not even know someone somewhere is… celebrities, close pals and even places. Detaching and coming to the realisation that we are obsessed with them is a great step to healing and moving forward.

    • Akingboye Deborah
      January 19, 2018 / 5:04 am

      Yes to this! Thanks for dropping by, Bunmi.

  12. January 19, 2018 / 6:43 pm

    Your tips are very useful…I have never been borderline obsessed with anyone or anything but I know that If I need to get someone/thing off my mind, I just get really busy, focus my attention on work or find another distraction. Like you said , it’s important to resolve to keep your distance…if it’s bad for you, it’s bad…

    • Akingboye Deborah
      January 19, 2018 / 7:48 pm

      Well said Faith. If it’s bad, it’s definitely bad and unhealthy for you. Your best shot is to stay away completely.

    • Akingboye Deborah
      January 20, 2018 / 1:47 pm

      Thanks dear ?

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