Am I an Abuser?

Hey darlings, how has your day been shaping?

Guess who volunteered to be a Mental Health Educator?


And guess what, I have graduated to becoming one of their online content developer! Yaaaaaaaaaaaas!!! I love responsibilities and challenges like this. I am working with a team of intelligent people and it feels so great. 2017 is taking shape!

Kindly visit the website Mental Health Awareness Initiative. You can also sign up to be a Volunteer. It’s a wonderful initiative where we are driven by our commitment to promote mental health as a critical part of overall wellness, including early identification and intervention for those at risk, integrated health, behavioral health and other services for those who need them, and recovery as a goal.

I shared a post on the website on how to identify if you are an abuser or not. I will be sharing a snippet here and we can read more on MANI’s website.

“… you don’t have to wait for someone to treat you bad repeatedly. All it takes is once, and if they get away with it that once, if they know they can treat you like that, then it sets the pattern for the future.”
― Jane GreenBookends

Ever asked yourself who an abuser is? Ever wondered what makes up an abuser? Ever told yourself, oh I don’t hit anyone…I cannot be termed an abuser.

Quite a number of us are quick to justify ourselves with different theories about why we think we are not an abuser. But may I please correct the notion that abuse does not only entails physical abuse. My dear, it goes farther than that. There is emotional, sexual, discriminatory, financial, organizational, modern slavery, domestic and of course neglect abuse.

You should read The Unseen Scars and Hard Limit.

Ah, now I am getting your attention…you are beginning to feel, well, I think I may be guilty of financial abuse but it still doesn’t justify you being looked at like a monster.

At this point, let me quickly define abuse so you can get the picture.

…continue reading

“An abuser can seem emotionally needy. You can get caught in a trap of catering to him, trying to fill a bottomless pit. But he’s not so much needy as entitled, so no matter how much you give him, it will never be enough. He will just keep coming up with more demands because he believes his needs are your responsibility, until you feel drained down to nothing.”
Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men

What are your thoughts on abuse? Ever been labeled one? Ever been abused? What were you actions against the abuser? Kindly join the discussion and don’t forget to share using any of the social media icons.

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Akingboye Deborah
My name is Debs, a Nigerian lifestyle blogger. This is my personal space where I share about my travel adventure, fashion and blogging tips. Feel free to send me a mail on for collaboration, sponsorship and ads.

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  • Ajibike Oyindamola January 28, 2017 2:54 pm

    Hmm I don’t think I am an abuser like that. Cuz I can’t think of any of the categories mentioned which I fall into. Maybe a bit of financial abuser lol.

    • debadmin January 28, 2017 3:07 pm

      ?? Ain’t we guilty of that in a way??

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