Body Shaming is one topic that has always been emphasized over and over in the society. No matter what you look like, society will always have something negative to say about you. This is now a recurrence and has caused a lot of people to deal with body insecurities. And it is a known fact that most insecurities breeds low self esteem. Aside low self esteem, body shaming can make the victim suffer eating disorder while trying so hard to please people who have no say about his or her life.
I have had my fair share of body shaming and this had plunged me into deep pain thereby leaving me insecure about my body image. I worry about how I look, how my clothes fit, and what people have to say about me. Everyone has a label to how I look, as long as it makes them feel better.
Yes, that is the first way I learn to deal with my body image. I told myself everyone will say what they want to say to feel better. Either to seem like a good friend who is trying to advise you on how you should look, or it is just their way of trying to justify how they look too. Someone who feels insecure about how she looks will find a way to make another feel same. That way, they can both wallow in self pity.
6 Ways I Deal With My Body Image
#1: Acceptance
I did not grow up to be chubby yet I have never really been on the slim side. My dad isn’t slim, and everyone has always called me my father’s daughter right from adolescent. Hence it should not be a surprise if I grow up looking like him. While I admit age is telling on him now and he is not as chubby as he used to look, the genes have fallen on me.
This however is not an excuse to how I should look. Irrespective of this, I have come to accept myself the way I am. Christian mother arm, 3 tiers fold belly, big thighs, I know how I look. I am the one who get to see myself naked in the mirror everyday. I have seen it all and I have accepted myself just the way I am.
#2: Expectations
I understand that if you know me some 5 to 7 years ago and you meet me again, the look of shock on your face isn’t supposed to be indifferent. I expect reactions especially from people who used to know me, hence I am always mentally prepared for it. So when this happen and I start hearing those snide remarks about my body, I am not moved. Oh, I used to cry and worry about it but when I realize this would continue to affect me if I allow it get to me, I developed a thick skin.
#3: Shift Focus Away From Your Body Image
If I continue to dwell on how I look and how people label me, my life would continue to be at a standstill. I would slowly slip into oblivion and matter less and less. Hence, I focused on other area of my life that needs development like education, career growth, and other interest. As long as you are certain you are healthy and not ill, then do not allow how society choose to perceive you affect you.
Related: Mind Your Own Body
#4: Understand Your Body
While I watch people talk, developed a thick skin, accept myself for who I am, I tried to understand my own body. I have gone through the strict diet life, pills, teas, and different stuffs just because I want to loose weight. But one thing I realized is that, the day I stop doing any of this is the day I start to get fat again. Which means, I do not understand my body one bit.
As a result, I stopped trying so hard the wrong way. I started to eat right to stay healthy. I reduced my sugar intake, drink more water, eat more vegetables, cut late night meal and introduce some forms of exercise in my daily life. That way, I am taking it one day at a time, working on those parts I can realistically change and leaving the others as it is.
#5: Quit Comparing Your Life With Celebrities
Do you know celebrities are not like us? Are you aware they live for the camera? And it is only part of their profession to look the part. The more you try to benchmark your life with theirs, the more you’d fail at this. They always have a team they work with who ensures they remain the way they want their audience to see them.
I am not a celebrity and I have no one paying me to live the part. Why then should I kill myself in the process of creating a life I cannot sustain or meet up?
To deal with negative body image, it is important to accept yourself as you are and love yourself unconditionally, ignoring the noise society is making about you.
#6: Dress The Part
The struggle to dress like people we love is always so deep we forget that we are not all built the same way. Know your body and wear what fit. Avoid struggling so hard to wear too fitted dresses if it will make those curves you want to keep in stand out. If you do not have a very flat tummy, avoid clothes that will make you uncomfortable in public. If it wouldn’t discomfort you in anyway, however, wear it.
Depending on where I am going, I avoid clothes that are too clingy around my bosom especially. If I wear such before eating, I am definitely going to look like I just dropped out of a magazine cover. But the moment I fill up my tummy, you’d see me struggling to suck belle which is definitely going to be a failed attempt.
If you were to be granted one wish regarding your body, what would you aim to change so much? Have you constantly being body shamed, how did you deal with it? Are you someone who body shame others? Do you feel okay doing that believing it would help them? Join the discussion.
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Too skinny for your age! Too bumless for a female! So flat chested! I have heard it all but I wouldn’t trade my body for someone else’s for anything…. I have had a very short phase of wanting and wishing I had those things some people say is absent in me.. But that phase quickly disappeared…i can move, I can talk and hear, I have my sensibilities intact..other things are inconsequential… When we reflect on what others are going through everyday.. We would know that body shaming shouldn’t even come up in our daily talks. You are perfect! You are beautiful! You are amazing! Don’t let nobody tell you nothing… And if they do, shrug it off if you can or give some polite acid laden response that would make the person shut up.
Author
Polite acid laden response! 👌👌👌 To be honest, developing a thick skin to all this is more like the solution to all these otherwise, man will just develop HBP over nothing.
Thanks for stopping by, hun ❤️
Oshey o baby! Pepper dem!!!! First, these pictures are amazeballs! You’re one roll of sweet sausage and pizza. That’s just some perfection imagery – you’re human baby not meals! hahahaa! You look dripdrop! and to the post, mehn! body image has been one of the foremost issues of my life. I remember my 100 level days and through all of those years and I realize my body had really been through a lot and then I hear people say stuff to me like are you adding flesh or you’re losing flesh? Why so thin? You don’t even look your age! Where are the meals going to? What are you trying to flatter? You ain’t got no body! But I think what works for me is my silent response ‘cos I realize trying to defend yourself makes me a fellow stupid person. So I’d say to myself ‘you have no idea what this body has been through. If you do, you’re gonna shut the fuck up before I even say so!’
Amazing post love! Keep sharing the light! Kisses.
Author
Ibukun! Thanks hunnay! Now I’m feeling like Queen B ☺️😁
My dear, I have come to realize that the more you try to respond, the more you’d continue to think about it and feel less about yourself.
But then, why do people feel entitled about other people’s body? Like is it their body?! How does it add to your bank account or put food on your table? If you aren’t going to talk about it because you are genuinely concern, why be so malicious about it?
I swear. . . You go think am think am, e no go finish and the low self esteem is the worst part. Anyways, Na the work wey dem dey do!!!! They’ll be alright last last!
I stared so hard at these pictures of yours and I’m finding it difficult to see why anyone would even body shame you or anyone for that matter. Thick is new cool mehn! Have I been body shamed before? Yes. Did I find it interesting? No. Would I have it any other way? No dammit! I love my body too much! I’m very blunt and so I can’t even remember the last time anyone body shamed me unless you just want to ridicule yourself. Last last everybody go dey alright. Ps; Again, I lovveee these pictures!
Author
Las las dem go dey alright 😂😅 You know this! Thanks hun 💙
Spot on!!! I totally agree… great advice and you are so right no. 5 especially… great post…!
Author
Thanks dear, glad you could relate with it
When I was in high school, I had my share of being body shamed. One thing being bodyshamed has thought me is to be brave and accept my body as it is. I didn’t create me. I totally go dumb when I’m being bodyshamed. I agree with you on the point that hat we have to accept our body most especially flaws. I wrote a post about body shaming last year
Author
Learning from challenges is one of the best way to grow. I’m glad you could learn from being thrown under the bus and becoming a stronger person.
Would read the post shortly.