I’m a perfectionist, that’s the first thing I tend to tell anyone meeting me. It bothers me a lot when things go awry when I could easily have avoided it. I’m like a lone soldier and it used to be so easy for me to work alone until I had to start working with a team.
A perfectionist is used to having things done their way, it freaks them out when you make mistake or mess up their work. They are quick to believe they can do things better without anyone, hence it’s always difficult to work with them.
We have quite a number of perfectionist at the workplace, schools and even at home. Some are married to perfectionist and it makes the marriage so much work especially if you do not know how to deal with them.
Who is A Perfectionist?
1. You are either an amazing success or a total failure, nothing in between
2. You avoid activities or tasks where you know you won’t be the best or perfect on your first attempt.
3. You are more likely to quit than to do something imperfectly.
4. You get defensive if someone points out your error
5. You already know you are a perfectionist, and that it is holding you back, but you don’t know how to stop.
If you’ve found yourself being friends, colleagues or married to a perfectionist. There are certain things you need to understand about how to deal with them in order to make it easy to live with them.
1. Communicate With Them
Perfectionist always assume and believe everyone is like them, hence they take so much offense when you do things differently. When you are working together with a perfectionist on a certain project, communicate clearly with them on how you want the project to go. Tell them how you should plan each step to ensure you both are on the same page. That way, nothing takes them by surprise and it would be easy to fix any mistake that may happen before it does.
2. Be gentle with them, they may be outright stubborn
I’m quite a stubborn person and even when I’ve agreed with you on how to go about something, I may change my mind halfway around it and do it differently. This would definitely get the other person worked up, rather than make a mountain out of such mole hill, approach them gently. Explain to them why what they have done is totally wrong and why they should have shared with you. Sometimes, they may not even realized they’ve hurt you which is why it is important to always let them know.
This always make them calmer and repentant. But if you decide to go the tough way, you both would never get anything done eventually as they’d never agree with you.
3. They are too meticulous, inform them of any change
Have you ever lived with a perfectionist and watch how they handle impending tasks? It can get your really worked up. When traveling for a trip that’s about a month away, I had already started packing and having my traveling list handy.
If they are getting money in 3 weeks, they already have a plan for it and wouldn’t even see the money as one they’ve not received yet. They are very careful and meticulous people and it can be difficult living with them if you aren’t such person.
Rather, inform them of any impending change way before it happens. That way, it’s easy for them to rearrange their schedule. In the workplace, send them an email or text message early enough to avoid them becoming disoriented.
4. Make Sacrifice for your Perfectionist Partner
You may not be one who believes dishes should be done immediately after cooking or eating; you may even be someone who keeps laundry for days before washing, but if your perfectionist partner doesn’t accept this, please sacrifice and find a way to reach a compromise.
Quite a number of perfectionist are difficult to live with but it’s important to understand that this is who they are. Try to make compromises here and there to ensure peace at home. And in between this, let them understand that there’s more than one way to get things done. Sometimes however, you should let them know how else you both can make it work without stressing the other party out.
Shoes from Shoe Express
5. Don’t take everything they say personally
A perfectionist may tell you how terrible you wash or clean even when you offer to do it with or for them. You’d hear words like ‘sloppy’, ‘slow’, ‘nearly clean’ when trying to help them. Do not allow their words get to you. As much as they try not to hurt you, that’s who they are.
When all is done, find a way to make them know they were rude or unappreciative to you and that as much as you’d love to help, it makes it harder if they keep doing such.
If you flip and leave instead, it makes it harder to get them to work on themselves when things do not go the way they want.
6. Be Focus in Helping a Perfectionist Get Better
Hard as it may be, there’s no better way to help your friend, colleague or partner through perfectionism than to love them unconditionally.
You have to be with them every step of the way as it’s not something they can overcome in their own. Laugh, cry and scold them where need be and love them through it. It’s who they are but it shouldn’t be who they would continually be. After all, love they say conquer all.
The Blazer And Sneaker Trend
2018 has been all about various fashion trends. I am not one who quickly jump on trend until it’s completely gone or no longer irrelevant. However, the moment I saw the blazer and chunky sneakers trend, I knew it was time to style this. I’m not so big on chunky sneakers, hence, I decided to opt for a regular one.
Earrings: The Victorian Closet
I styled an old purple blazer I’ve had for more than a year with another old burgundy pant from Elboogieboutique. This Afro wig seems like a perfect fit for a corporate street style with a peach YSL bag and white sneakers. I planned to style this to church but at the last minute ended up opting for a burgundy pumps.
The day after was a Monday, I decided to wear same outfit but with a shirt for a more corporate look.
Which of the look do you prefer and where would you style them to? What’s your thought on Perfectionist? Would you allow yourself date or marry a perfectionist if such situation happens? If you ever dealt with one, do share how you managed or dealt with them.
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