When I was in college, (we call that secondary school in Nigeria), I learnt the Law of Diminishing Return in Economics. Little did I know this is also found in relationship as well. The illustration my Economist teacher explained then was etched on my innocent mind and I grew up experiencing this in my daily life. I craved for things so much and after getting a bite, two, three, four…I no longer want it anymore with the same degree of want as the first time.
Law of Diminishing Returns in Relationship
However, as I become more matured, I realized this law is not only limited to things. We find it among humanity. We find ourselves craving so hard to meet someone, to know them, to become their best friend, to date them and to marry them possibly.
But, the excitement of meeting them is never the same as the months/years roll by. Eventually, they become that girl and they no longer excite us. That is when man needs become insatiable and he craves another.
Remember when you just meet your spouse. The intense desire to know them, to always talk to them, face timing every now and then, Skype, unlimited calls, SMS back and forth, walking with them all through the day. You can even predict their next action because you know them too well.
Forget what they make you believe on social media, after a while all this excitement dies. Even before many get married, all these initial affection start to wear off.
Relationship expert will always say, “Ignite the spark in your love life, go on adventure, try new things” but trust me, all these are easier said than done. Especially, when you both start getting attention outside the relationship. Everything about your current spouse begin to bore you and you feel comfortable with the new person. Even if he or she is just a friend. And before you know it, you begin to compare…
Bottom line is, are these phases every human is meant to go through? Are these usual occurrence that almost everyone experience? Are we not meant to only and continue to enjoy the spark with the one we choose over every other potential person out there?
If you are experiencing boredom in your relationship, it is not the end of the world. As long as you can pinpoint that this is the problem and take action, you and your partner can both avoid reaching the point of any overall unhappy relationship.
Yes, it can be revived. But at that point, what do you think happened? Are humans too meant to experience Law of Diminishing Returns with themselves?
My friends will say it is See Finish, but whichever word is appropriate, you both still have forever to go…how are you expected to cope with all these in future?
Over to you darlings, what are your thoughts on the above raised questions? Or could it be that those two were never meant to be to start with? Join the discussion…
P.S: My e-book Fading Away is still available for downloads on Okadabooks. You can check my Instagram and Facebook page to read reviews on it and .
This is one topic and area of relationship matters that gives me great concerns. I am still looking for the best words and answers to give for this.
The truth is, everything ends…
Feelings ends
Friendship ends
Life ends
Attention ends
The world system is structured to go up and come down eventually
The only thing that doesn’t end is God’s love and his word.
So dear, I might not have the answers but what is most important is to enjoy the moments, cherish the people and enjoy things while it lasts.
Nothing lasts forever except Gods word
Author
Hm, this is another interesting angle to explore. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this RichTee ????
I totally agree with Richtee..even the things that seem worthwhile (the relationships that are dope and of value are vanity) IN THE SENSE THAT we keep going round and round in circles. The feelings will fade, you’ll fight for your relationship solely and only because it is God founded. God is the constant in the equation. He is the reason I’ll stay and fight and live and love for anyone (husband, friend, mom)
Author
I am so learning much today! Thanks Sharon, interesting view…Sometimes our own love are never enough truly.
Never been in this situation tho…have never fallen out of love before.
It’s scary when you think about it,but if and when you are with THE ONE,everyday,everymin,every seconds with them is bliss❤️❤️❤️Am a lover yo
Author
❤️❤️ Glad it’s something you’ve not experienced? Thanks for leaving a comment, Myra ??
Try obssession and you would never lose the spark
Author
Awesome!
Thanks Wale ????
I think the spark will always die, it is now left to you if you thubj this perosn is worth it, if you want to rekindle it or you want to move on to “the next big thing”. I think this is how long lasting relationships work – seeing if it is worth rekindling the spark
Author
? I love this view, Sharon. And rekindling starts from communication too. Thanks for sharing your thoughts ???
For me Love is a decision and not a feeling. Feelings is fickles in nature depending on moods and circumstances.
That’s why I advised you took time before being committed in a relationship. Is she/he someone you really like? If the answer is in the affirmative, you must then make your decision but your decision should be based on compatible values.
If your values don’t align well with your partner, there is possibility things begins to wear off.
Love is a decision not a feeling, when people understands that, it helps to maintain that spark.
That’s why I often told myself to be faithful in anything I’m involved in. Being faithful requires a lot from you as an individual. Do you do what you say you will do at the specific time you said you would? Do you make promise either to yourself or others and fulfill it or you make excuse?
These are little but powerful values if consciously developed and carries over into a typical relationship is beneficial..
Law of diminishing return exist because of lack of discipline. We should learn how to be content.
Don’t want my comment to be longer than your post,Lol.
Shalom!
Law of diminishing returns is not necessarily applicable to all walks of life (lawbof diminishing returns is not a constant variable), not everything ends….the only thing that unarguably ends is life…..but friendships, relationships , career etc “may” not necessarily end…having challenges can also not be necessarily attributed to law of diminishing returns. I totally agree with D’Dream…
The spark and excitement does not always die…it dies for some…it remains for others..it increase for some…it reduces for others…
It is truly a lack of discipline, creativity,adventure and contentment to constantly feel bored about a relationship and then the person moves to the next and gets bored again and moves to the next…when will it end?
You can’t always get the 10 text messages in a day, face timing and skyping every 5 hours, 3 hours on the phone because life will happen (kids would come in, more responsibility would come in etcetera etcetera), this doesn’t mean law of diminishing return has happened,it only means you both had to create more time to accommodate these responsibilities that has come in…
Just thought of the law after reading this post. I guess it doesn’t apply to all relationships as some people are capable of keeping the sparks alive. One beauty of being in love is knowing a little bit more about the partner with each passing day.
Lifeofdammy.com
Author
Yes Dammy, I agree with you it doesn’t apply to all relationships. Thanks for joining the discussion dear ❤️
Hmmmm. I slightly beg to defer. I’ve been a relationship with the same person for the past 3 years and he still makes me heart skip and I don’t think it will ever die down (by God’s grace)! Yes, sometimes you don’t feel as excited as you initially did but this is something we both have talked about, understood and come to accept. It doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a result of you getting attention outside or you have fallen out of love with the person. Boredom is natural like you said.
The key is to always ignite new things to spark your relationship and for some, yes, it might be easier said than done for some but it’s usually because you and the person in question do not have the same interests.
How is it possible that you can be friends with someone for 20 years yet you can’t keep a relationship for 5? Simple answer : you don’t have the same interests. So the key is to date someone you have the same interests as or learn to be interested in what the other person loves and vice versa (why else on earth will I claim to be an arsenal fan! #lol #boyfriendinfluence)
Author
Interest! This is absolutely another way to examine this ? I quite agree with you but it mostly doesn’t work same way for everyone.